We Meet Again

What if I told you we’ve met before?  Don’t you remember?  We go way back.  And I mean WAY back!  We’ve intersected in past lives--sometimes with a simple passing...  Other times, we’ve spoken, interacted, or exchanged something to one another in a key moment.  And still other times we’ve been in relationship,  playing a more influential role.  Heck!  We’ve even connected between lifetimes in the spiritual realm!  I think we bumped into each other in the bathroom in Soul School.  What?  You don’t recognize me?  Well, that’s alright friend.  Because I recognize you.  And I know that we’ve agreed to forget while we are inside our human costumes, so that our journey of remembering could be possible.  I also know that recognition goes beyond the visual.  Of course, it’s not my face that’s memorable.  It’s my essence. 

Don’t you remember how we made agreements to cross paths again in this lifetime?  To help each other?   It’s starting to sound familiar, right?   Yes, yes, yes!  I agreed to--mm hmm.  And you--right!  Yes, we’ve done this a time or two, old pal, haven’t we!  So here we are…presenting in the present and stuff.  Wow!  It is SO cool to be in this moment with you!  You’re looking great, too, by the way!  Listen, it is such an honor to meet up again.  I know!  It’s all coming back now, right?  It’s like Boom!  Waking up to our connection.  Okay, just know that you’re on the right path.  Follow that feeling.  And remember, there are others waiting to meet up with you again, too.

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Whether you remember our time together or not, I believe that our connections and intersections are like choreography.  There’s often a beautiful purpose to our interactions.  Looking back, we can see how certain people and moments have been pivotal for us, despite not knowing at the time.  If we are here to meet and influence each other for the better, it will happen regardless of our effort to control.  And if we were cut short in the past and have more work to do, I trust that we will find each other and meet again. 

I’m a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor with additional training in Past-Life Regression Therapy and Clinical Hypnotherapy.  I also have a strong background in bodywork and the emphasis on connecting with your body’s intuition.  

Want help exploring your meaningful intersections?  Give me a ring!  

The Subtle Shit

I’ve had the awesome opportunity to work with a variety of people.  And, the more I do this work, the more I find myself helping others sort through the difficulty of subtle shit.  You know what I mean.  I’m talking about the stuff that seems small, but really bothers you and gets under your skin.  Because that’s what makes it shitty-the fact that it is subtle.  We usually know how to get ourselves to therapy when it’s the big stuff.  And I’m here for that, too.  But, we tend to question ourselves and doubt if we really have a point–if our feelings are valid given the subtle nature of the issue.  And by subtle, I mean normalized, expected, common, or livable.  We think we shouldn’t complain.   And then the resentment kicks in, and before we know it we are escaping with alcohol or TV or whatever else distracts us temporarily.  Years pass by, and you may start to wonder how you got here.  You might not even recognize yourself anymore.

Well, I’m here to reacquaint you with your real self.  I’m here to help you reclaim whatever needs reclaiming.  I’m here to acknowledge that your subtle shit is a Big Deal.  If it bothers you, then it's worth exploring.  I will help you sort it out.  No feeling is invalid.  No pace too slow.  No topic is too embarrassing.  There’s a lot of shame, insecurity, and guilt around the subtle shit.  We think:  Maybe I should just be grateful.  Maybe I should refocus on my kids, house, or hobby.  Maybe I’m crazy.  Maybe I shouldn’t wish for better treatment from others.  Maybe this is what I deserve. 

Let me make it clear that there is no grand prize for suffering.  No one wins.

There is no extra gold star for suffering quietly.  The goal is not to be miserable.  There is no contest to see who can suffer the most.  That doesn’t exist, okay?  Because why would we get a pat on the back for staying miserable and faking it?  That’s messed up, and you know it.  Brainwashing, if you will.  What would be the point in life? 

We have voices, feelings, brains, bodies, and hearts for a reason.  They are like companions guiding and advocating for our well being.  That is the point!  To listen in, and to follow your intuition.  Where else would be the source of your fullest potential?  We are happiest when we are living our truth and most authentic life! 

Stay tuned for posts about other subtle shit that gets normalized such as:

-financial abuse and other quiet forms of abuse 

-subtle forms of control and manipulation 

-blurry boundaries

-codependent behavior

Need help sorting out your subtle shit?  Give me a ring!  

If You Build It, They Will Come:  One-Woman Operation

As the owner and founder of We Meet Again Counseling, PLLC, I wanted to share that it's just me here.  I am a one-woman operation.  I don't have employees or plan to expand in that way.  I'll grow in other ways, of course, as I learn more about running a business and as I expand my repertoire of clinical skills.  However, I want to keep it focused, funneling my energy towards my clients and the work that we do together.  To me, balance and quality are key.  We have to create our own definitions of success and happiness.  

We can't look to what we think we have to be.  Or what society tells us we should be.   We have to know the difference between being inspired by others vs. being competitive with others.   For me, the goal isn't to grow outward, higher into the corporate direction.  Rather, I plan to grow inward with my skill set, increase the quality of my therapeutic relationships, and to find a good work-life balance.  

You'll see that my website isn't through some professional designer.  You'll see my somewhat amateur marketing efforts.  But I hope that attracts the clients that best fit with who I am as a therapist.  Although learning about business is fun and educational, I don't want to lose sight of what I'm actually here to do.  My responsibility is to be present, and to provide quality support.  This way, I can work in a more authentic way.   What's important to me is that I've made myself available to those who can benefit from my work.

I also want to model that things don't have to be perfect before you put them out into the world.  I'm sure I will make mistakes along the way, but they will be opportunities to learn.  We may never accomplish our goals if we wait until perfection arrives.  We just have to go for it and improve as we go.  It's somewhat vulnerable and scary, but I trust the process. Creating my own private practice has been a clear vision of mine for so long that it is easy for me to trust the ride.  Maybe those distant dreams of yours can also now become a reality!

As a solo practitioner, I don't have to resonate with everyone.  It's okay.  I trust that the right people will find me.

If my style feels like a good fit for you, give me a ring!

Akashic Records

Do you ever wonder what your soul experienced before this lifetime?  Do you ever wish you could talk to your spiritual team?  Every thought, action, deed, and emotion are recorded, and kept in the spiritual libraries.  The Akashic Records are the records of one's soul in all of its incarnations and in between.  Each soul has a "keeper" of their Akashic Records, and can be accessed for guidance on the journey.  If you'd like to know about your own personal records, there are Akashic Record Consultants who are so gifted, and in tune with the spiritual realm. 

They spend lots of time training, but usually have a natural inclination towards this highly intuitive work.  It's as if they can "download" the information with your permission and discuss it with you.  Similar to a Past-Life Regression, but rather told to you directly without hypnosis or meditation, Akashic Record consultations allow you to ask big questions and get sound, loving responses about current concerns.  

Although it sounds lofty and woo woo, some people really are more tuned in to the spiritual realm, and have gifts of communicating and receiving information through mental telepathy, clairvoyance, clairaudience, clair-kinesthetic awareness and clair-sentience.  Some souls have honed in on this sixth sense and can be of service to us if we are open. 

We all have gifts to share.  And if we are open and show up for ourselves, the doors will open abundantly. 

I sought out this service, when I was going through a rough time.  I figured that I could dismiss it if it did not seem to fit.  However, I was flooded with a feeling of love coming from the other side.  I could feel the warmth, the unconditional love, and the deep knowing of who I am.  I was so intrigued that one weekend, I received Level 1 training on how to access my own Akashic Records.  It has served me immensely going forward, feeling more in touch with my "team".  

It's as if my intuition has sharpened.  If you are curious about what your soul has been up to over the last eternity, check out ARCI for a listing of Akashic Record Consultants.  If you'd like to benefit from my sharpened intuition therapeutically, give me a ring!

Listen Up

Come back to this concept when you are feeling overwhelmed.  Pause, take a breath, and remind yourself:  You don't have to do the hardest thing.  Rest in the knowing that you get to be you.  Release the expectations of others.  Let your heart lead the way.  

Need help releasing expectations?  Give me a ring!

The Mission of Memories

Anyone who spends time with children has noticed that they have the most active imaginations.  Adults can be heard mumbling, “where do they come up with this stuff?”  An observant parent can usually identify the inspiration of their child’s story if it resembles a TV show, video game, fairy-

tale or something their child has witnessed or experienced.  But every once in a while, the stories that come out children’s mouths are puzzling, sometimes sending shivers down your spine!  For example, how would you feel if your 3-year-old child talked about getting hurt in the war and described an accurate civil war uniform and weapon?  Or if little Sara talked about “when I was big…”  Or if Tommy talked about Grandma Alice this and that, but he didn’t have a Grandma or know anyone named Alice?  And what if when probed, the child retorted, “no Mommy, she was my Grandma before I was Tommy”.  Again, we can’t help but ask:  where are these stories coming from?  Several doctors, researchers, and scholars suggest that children are remembering past lives.

Carol Bowman, author of Children’s Past Lives:  How Past Life Memories Affect Your Child, found that it is usually between the ages of 2-5 when children will spontaneously remember fragments of their past lives.  Since they are closer to their previous lifetime, they haven’t conformed to our society and culture’s ideas yet, and therefore haven’t fully suppressed their past life memories.  Just about anything can trigger a past life memory such as a smell, taste, noise, location or experience.  For Tommy, the taste of powdered sugar triggered memories of baking with Grandma Alice.  In this case, he was merely remembering someone he loved.  In other cases, there is unfinished business to be worked out.  For example, Blake was a toddler who was terrified of large trucks.  When watching traffic from the window, he told his mother that he was run over by a truck.  At first, she thought he was pretending with his hot wheels.  But Blake said, “No mommy!  A real truck.  And my body hurts right here.”  He became unlike his cheerful self for the next few months continuing to talk about his hurt body from the truck.  He also became angry with his mom. 

With a few simple questions suggested by Carol Bowman to this mother, Blake made progress and was back to himself.   “What do you see and feel when you remember the truck?”  Blake responded, “I remember seeing the underside of the truck and wishing you would have stopped me from running into the street.”  His mother gently assured him that he was safe now.  She explained to him that his memory was from another lifetime, when he was in a different body and had a different mother.  She reassured him that he was safe, and that she would always protect him.  After that, he resumed his happy self again.  He simply needed to distinguish between the two separate lifetimes.

Isolated cases are easily dismissed or forgotten.  However, Bowman has researched extensively and found hundreds, if not more examples of this phenomenon from all over the world.  It is hard to deny when the cases are compiled and charted neatly together with that of other researchers.  Not to mention, these are innocent children spouting off similar spiritual data with no prompting involved.  Dr. Ian Stephenson also researched this topic to the extent of traveling to meet the children.  He interviewed them comprehensively about their past-life memories, and then checked out the facts from the details provided.  He sometimes took the child (and his/her family) to the site of the previous life remembered and found houses or landscapes identical to which they described. 

One two-year-old boy, Ravi Shankar from India, insisted that he was really a boy named Munna from a nearby village who was slit in the throat and left in an orchard near Chintimini Temple.  He repeated his story to family, friends, and teachers over the next several years.  Dr. Stephenson collected all of the specific details from his story and with permission took Ravi’s family to the site of his apparently former home.  Together they found previous family members who were still alive and Ravi recognized them by name.  They confirmed his story even finding the toys that Ravi remembered and described in his lifetime as Munna.  Most importantly, Ravi was able to give the evidence to the unsolved murder case.  Coincidentally or not, Ravi was born with a huge birthmark on his neck in the exact location that his throat was slit.  According to the literature, this is actually a typical occurrence.  Dr. Stephenson has an entire book/article just on birthmarks and their significance to previous life deaths or traumas. 

While Dr. Stephenson confirms the previous personalities with his elaborate fact-checking, Carol Bowman takes it one step further.  It’s amazing enough to think that these children have lived before.  But, she identifies the purpose of these memories, their healing potential, and gives parents helpful tips on how to talk to your children about these memories.  If the memories are disturbing the child in any way, parents can facilitate their child’s healing process by validating their stories and helping them to make distinctions between past and present.  She assures parents that they can help their child heal. She warns parents to never laugh at, ignore, or accuse children of making them up. If needed, the child can see a past life therapist, but the most helpful thing you can do, Bowman says, is to believe them.    By providing a listening ear, we can actually help our children and learn from them at the same time. 

In this culture, the belief in reincarnation is not so popular.  Parents find a conflict between their religious upbringing and their child’s story.  But in some cases, it’s hard for the parents to ignore –forcing them to reevaluate their belief system.   “At first when my child started saying these things, it disturbed me.  I didn’t want to hear it, because what they said forced me to think and not just float along,” one parent confesses.  Another set of researchers on this topic, the Harrisons, collected data from 26 cases of English toddlers who spontaneously remembered past lives.  One child told his mother that he went to Aunty Ruth before he came to her.  He had no idea that his mother’s sister Ruth had a miscarriage 10 years before.  “There’s no doubt in my mind that the kid must have experienced life before, and those memories stayed with him.”  Many of the parents tried to “fob them off”, hoping the strange stories would go away.  But the children persisted anyway with their memories, regardless of their parent’s resistance.  The Harrisons’ research documents how children can change the beliefs of their parents.

Occasionally, memories can surface later in childhood.  According to Susan Wisehart, Past-life regression therapist and author of Soul Visioning, a particular age or stage of development can trigger the onset of memories which correlate to a significant past life experience occurring at the correlating age/stage.  For example, one of her clients found her nine-year-old daughter suddenly experiencing intense separation anxiety, when she had never exhibited these fears or attachments before.  Through the mother’s past life regression, she learned that she had killed herself, leaving her child behind.  Her child’s abandonment had carried over.  When the mother talked to the daughter, the child remembered it.  They assured each other that they were here for each other this time, and that those things were in the past.  

A similar case was reported about a 16-year old, who also didn’t want to leave her mother.  This teenager was regressed by Wisehart and remembered a lifetime in which she died at 16 giving birth.  Her last words in that lifetime were, “mother, mother!”  Unconsciously, turning 16 triggered her fear and separation anxiety.  In these cases, the children needed assistance from a trained professional to recall the root of their symptoms.  However, both returned to their normal happy lives as a result.

Children aren’t the only ones who can benefit from past-life memories.  Dr. Brian Weiss, a medically trained psychiatrist and scholar, discovered the healing power of past lives accidentally when he was working with a woman, Catherine.  During a regression, Catherine was instructed to go back to the time when her fear began.  Surprisingly, she began describing an ancient past life.  A lifetime involving a deadly flood explained her fear of water.  Similarly, other past lifetime experiences corresponded to other current phobias. At first, his Western trained mind could not make sense of what transpired.  However, the details of tools and trades she talked of were not a part of her current knowledge.  Weiss did some of his own research of times and places to verify her descriptions and they all checked out.  

Another piece of evidence he came across was xenoglossy, which is when patients speak a language they are not currently familiar with during a regression.  Dr. Weiss continued to explore past lifetimes with Catherine in subsequent sessions and her symptoms disappeared. He has regressed thousands of adults since then and now conducts training seminars and workshops.  Past-life regression therapy has helped people heal by finding a root to their phobias, unexplained physical ailments, and relationship patterns.  Of course, it’s not necessary psychologically to explore past lives.  But if there is a symptom that is unexplainable and unrelieved by other treatments, it might be the missing puzzle piece to a lifelong phobia or pattern.  The patients of Dr. Weiss have had a variety of religious backgrounds and beliefs, but yet their experiences of going to past lives paralleled the cycle of reincarnation.

It is a myth to think that reincarnation goes against Christianity.  This notion that reincarnation is a sin originates in the fixing of the doctrine and creed thousands of years ago.  Originally however, it was present in the Bible.  Both Carol Bowman and Dr. Brian Weiss go into a detailed history of how in the 500s AD, Constantinople took out parts of the Bible supporting reincarnation for power reasons and claimed it a heresy.  Due to the major repercussions of believing, many feared to even think or talk about the topic ever since, evolving into a taboo.

“Despite the decree of 553, belief in reincarnation persisted and took another thousand years and much bloodshed to completely stamp out the idea.  The persecution by the institutional Church has scarred our collective psyche, and it has surrounded us with an invisible fence dividing what is safe from what is dangerous to believe…  Maybe by understanding where this fear comes from, we can negate its hold on us and turn off the invisible fence.  So, when our children speak of past lives, we can follow our hearts and not our fears, and believe them.”  

A couple of references to reincarnation remain in the Bible today.  For example, in Matthew 17:10-13 Elias came back as John the Baptist.  “Jesus replied, ‘to be sure, Elias comes and will restore all things.  But I tell you, Elias has already come, and they did not recognize him…’  Then the disciples understood that he was talking to them about John the Baptist.”  Jesus is saying that it is okay to come back and learn.  Many already believe that there is life after death.  Reincarnation only expands that belief that we existed before birth and that we will live again and again. 

Reincarnation is also a part of Jewish tradition, despite some belief to the contrary.   Jewish scholar Simcha Paull Raphael assures us that “kabbalists do believe in reincarnation!”  There is no one single book that defines the Jewish faith.  Instead, they refer to many sacred texts.  The Book of Splendor is an ancient Jewish text, which traces the cycle of death and rebirth called, gilgul, which means wheel and transformations.  It teaches that each lifetime is an opportunity to learn lessons. This concept is in direct alignment with Dr. Brian Weiss’ findings as his clients report the lessons learned from each lifetime as well as the lessons they have yet to master.   Reincarnation is not a belief tied to one area of the world.  This has been an enduring belief found all over and throughout history.  So why are we in the Western world in the minority about this belief?  As more people are turning to secular beliefs, they are becoming more open to think independently about such things, guiding them spiritually as they explore these topics open-mindedly.

All this talk of past lives sometimes can give people the creeps!  While at first it might seem morbid or haunting, the concept of past lives is actually about life—ever-lasting life.  And, not all of children’s stories are coming from past lives, but there is good evidence that there might be more to our children’s babbling and mysterious behavior.  Carol Bowman’s book adequately lays out the reasons why it is important to listen more closely to our children.  Put simply, she summarizes, “Any child anywhere in the world can have a past life memory, regardless of the cultural or religious beliefs of the parents.  More people need to know this and that parents can help.”  These memories come to us with a mission.  If we listen and respond effectively, these memories can heal symptoms and forever change our fundamental beliefs of life and death. 

Amy Goldbeck is an Oak Park mom, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Heart-centered Hypnotherapist.  She has trained with Dr. Brian Weiss, one of the founders of this work, in Past- Life Regression Therapy and has received additional training with the local and very experienced Susan Wisehart.   She is certified in Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy to support her work and fascination with the subconscious mind/soul.  She continues to learn all that she can about past-lives and enjoys sharing it with others.

You got this!

I never thought I'd be able to do some of the things I'm doing today.  Handling finances, starting a business, doing taxes, car and home maintenance... I also never thought divorce was a option unless the reasons were, well--obvious.    Besides,  how would I ever make it financially?  I certainly didn't think I "qualified" for total happiness and authenticity.  

Yet, here I am.  Why did I think so small?  Why did I think I was incapable?  Undeserving?    There was so much I didn't know.  Here's the truth:  I've always been a good, responsible person, who follows rules and lives a healthy life.  I've always been a top student with really great skills and a  sharp mind.  So why was I so limited with my sense of capability and worth?  I felt an enormous expectation to be a certain way.  

I may not be who people wanted me to be.   I'm not even who I set out to be.   Yet, I am Amy Goldbeck.    And I'm finding out she is more powerful and courageous than I ever realized.  Sometimes my inner witness is surprised as I push forward.  

I've learned to stand in my truth regardless of the consequences.  Because, I believe now, that it's the only way to live.   In fact, I think that's the secret to life.

I'm starting to re-learn who I am.  It's almost like I am being lead by my true self.   Like there is something powerful within me that has an agenda to be my best self.  I am so grateful that I can hear its voice, feel its nudge, and trust it.  I'm learning to reshape my beliefs.   I am on a path towards my highest potential, thanks to self compassion, believing I'm worthy and capable, listening within, and taking myself seriously.

Education also really plays an important part!  Whether you read up, talk to a pro, or take a class, you will have more confidence as you become more educated in the topic that intimidates you.  Harness the fear and tackle the topic!  Remember, you are powerful beyond measure.  You are capable and responsible.  And your life is waiting for you!  

You Got This!!

Need help becoming your best self?  Give me a ring!  

Untangling the The Roots

Thinking for Yourself:  The Process of Undoing What You Were Taught and Remembering What you Know

We are often given beliefs as if they are true.  We often do things we are told without questioning.  We are often part of a system we think is ours.  At some point, there is a questioning.  And the questioning usually originates from unhappiness or a feeling of disagreement.  Thanks to our bodies who give us sensations and thanks to our minds which can think critically and thanks to our spirits which give us intuition, we are nudged to think things through for ourselves.  Thus, the conscious process of knowing oneself begins.  

This is the whole point of life-- I believe--to recognize and follow that questioning and see where the questions lead us.  Those questions are what makes us unique.  Those questions are there to guide us, like clues on a map.  We are born with something innate that drives us--the blueprint of our souls. We all know what happens when we ignore the questions: frustration, irritability, depression, chronic illness, pessimism...you name it.  We get out of alignment.  The discomfort becomes unbearable.  Physical manifestations can result.  Mental illness can spike up as well.  When we are out of alignment with our truth, we are not at ease.  Not well.  It is our job to face these questions with courage, and trust that we will be okay as a result.  In fact, we will be better than okay.  We will be rewarded with a better situation.  It might be hard to see at first.  Sometimes things get messy before the clean up happens. But once you untangle the roots, you allow optimal growth!  

Need help untangling your roots?  Give me a ring!

Hypnotherapy

The subconscious mind is very mysterious and intriguing.   Aspects of this work enter into my sessions with clients all the time.  All moments of relaxation involve a light hypnosis.  We self-hypnotize all the time, such as while we are driving.  A part of  us is operating the car, but another part of us is lost in thought.  

Still curious?  I know!  It's fascinating!  You know how sometimes you drift off to a memory and suddenly find yourself experiencing all of the senses of that memory?  Like the sights and the smells; tastes or aromas?Even your thoughts and feelings at the time?  That experience of remembering involves more than just your mind.  Your body is remembering too, and likely your spirit or soul as well.  Maybe you’ve noticed yourself drifting off to an imaginary conversation, and you can hear the other person talking to you.  You can feel your response--physically and emotionally...

Hypnotherapy is much the same way.  It is a mind-body-spirit experience.  It is about following the flow of the memory or the idea and letting it unfold all of the way to the core beliefs and feelings that motivate you.  It’s like surfing on your subconscious wave of wisdom!  Hypnotherapy is about trusting the guidance of your inner-Self to be the GPS--to provide the healthiest direction for your highest good.  We drift in and out between our subconscious and conscious mind all of the time.  Hypnotherapy uses the power of this natural state to work on your therapeutic goals.   If you would like to incorporate aspects of hypnotherapy into your therapy work, give me a ring!  

Past Life Regression Therapy

Growing up Catholic, past lives were something I never considered.  However, at just the needed time in my life, a friend gave me a book : Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss (thank you, Lisa!), and the world opened up and my life has never been the same.  I devoured every book and meditation he wrote and got on the wait list to train with him at the Omega Institute in New York.  Although I was #88 on the wait list, I somehow got in!  What?!  I took it as a sign.  The experience was a life changer for me both personally and professionally.  

I learned how to guide clients to access their past lives for relevant experiences that related to their current life.  I take this role very seriously, and make sure to assess the stability  of clients and monitor the way they integrate the information into their therapy goals.  

Past-life regression therapy helps to connect the dots by discovering the root of your symptoms.   Sometimes unfinished business gets carried over into subsequent lifetimes.  You discover the depth of your experiences and how they have shaped your current self.  And, you learn how to release fears, phobias, relationship patterns and limiting beliefs, as you remember where these things originated.

The way it works is through a guided meditation or light hypnosis. Your body relaxes and your mind sharpens.  You access your subconscious mind which holds every experience you've ever had.  Memories will present themselves for deeper understanding.

Want to incorporate this philosophy into your therapy process?  Give me a ring!

Body As Resource

Our bodies are receptors with feelers that reach beyond our distal edges. Your body picks up on energy from other people, places or things and stores this information inside of you somewhere and somehow.  If you pay attention and tune into the subtle changes, you can establish a truly powerful relationship with yourself--with your body--that will absolutely guide you.  It is the first step. Even before your thoughts form or your words speak, or your behavior acts, the body feels.  If you catch the information you receive at this stage, you can be more conscious of your choices thereafter. 

 Body awareness can also include posturing, muscle tension, and energy levels.

Other forms of intuition can come through the observation of thoughts, images, messages, noticing external signs, and internal impressions. 

Sometimes in sessions, I help clients learn how to tune into their body wisdom as a form of guidance.  

Need help connecting into your body wisdom?  Give me a ring!  

Meditation

Meditation is an easy way to begin the inner work, and therefore something I bring into therapy sessions at times.  People often wonder if they are doing it correctly, and the answer is always yes.  It's simply listening, relaxing and noticing.  No need for judgment if your mind wanders.   It's all good information for processing.  I find that allowing time to share and discuss one’s experience from a meditation can illuminate insight, inspire action, and solidify themes.  I have a large assortment of meditations varying from conceptual to visual; spiritual or non-spiritual; interactive or not.  We begin to discover together which type you are most responsive to.  The practice of meditation includes  quieting the mind, trusting the process and observing your experiences.  Learning these skills are helpful as they can enrich your mindfulness in day to day life.  The information that you process afterwards is a bonus, as you often gain insight to something new.   Life is an endless process of continually making connections and strengthening your relationship with yourself.   Meditation is a lovely resource for these skills. Would you like to incorporate meditation into your therapy work?  Give me a ring!  

Choosing this Life

Would you be the same if you remembered selecting this life for yourself?  If you remembered stacking the stones by carefully choosing your costume (your body), the setting/scene, and the story line? If you remembered the purpose of your selections? The way you intricately combined choices to set yourself up with opportunities to grow and evolve? Which lessons of love were your themes again? 

Anyway, dang! Good job with your selections! What an artful design! What a beautiful story your life is! You set yourself up with these fellow souls, to be your key players. You set yourself up with these circumstances, obstacles, and unique yet universal struggles. Brilliant job! Kudos to you! What a beautiful playwright! What perfect scenes and realistic choreography (wink). You took part in this design. And. It's. Awesome.

You also chose to come into this life forgetting your choices, because what fun would that be? They call it socialization, and that is important too.   It's so much more adventurous to rediscover.   It's way more exhilarating to overcome obstacles, realize your fortitude and wisdom, and to help others to do the same.

You should give yourself more credit really. Your character development is wickedly intricate. Your foreshadowing is flawless. Your imperfections are perfect. I can’t wait to see what happens next! Keep me posted, ‘K? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What if our biggest job is to remember? What if it's all unfolding as planned? What would it be like to assume you’re the director and the actor? Let's just assume that is the case. So, go ahead and play your part. Be the YOU that you knew you could be! Play it with confidence, with a new perspective, loving your role, and knowing you are exactly who you wanted to be.

***This does not ever mean that you chose to be traumatized. We do not select the choices of others. We all have free will in this school called Earth.  I do not suggest that our lives are scripted or predetermined.  Only that there is a loose design in place to provide opportunities.  

Looking for more meaning and purpose in your life?  Give me a ring!  

I. AM. AIR.

Nature as Resource

I have many clients that are into astrology,  earth elements, and ancient  forms of healing.  I love to listen to them and work with their images and knowledge as a tool for support.  

To say that nature is helpful to our well-being is an understatement.  Nature is vital.   We need to breathe in fresh air.  We need to move our bodies through the landscapes around us.  We need to connect with nature in any way we can, whether that is simply appreciating a sunset or feeling the soil beneath your feet.   Maybe you bring flowers or plants into your home?  Or, perhaps you notice the patterns of stars, shape of the moon... There are so many ways to connect, and nature is such a very broad concept.  

Once, I was participating in a workshop in which we were "harvesting" our gifts or natural qualities.  Through the sequence, I was lead to reflect on what my earth element is.  I'm a Libra, and Libra is an air sign.   Other astrological signs coordinate with fire, earth or water.  In the workshop I noted how I used my identified qualities in a challenging situation.  

At the end of it all, I developed  an affirmation:  I AM AIR.  To me, this shifted how I related to the memory of that upsetting time.  I now felt that AIR reminded me of my spiritual essence.  That I could never be truly harmed or captured.  That I am free to be me, and no one can control, trap or take anything away.   I imagined myself as invincible.  I also reflected on my spiritual beliefs to support my trust in the bigger process as well as my purpose to follow my truth.

Often, imagery and nature can be useful tools to help change the narrative and therefore the experience of something challenging.  I wondered how someone might use other earth elements to create an image or affirmation related to their personal challenge. That's where creativity comes in with my work. Playing with words and images that surface in a session can lead to new connections and insights that stick/last more than a piece of advice.  

Want to use nature and creativity in your therapeutic process?  Give me a ring!

Spirituality

Spirituality is not the same as religion.  One can be spiritual without being religious.  One can also be both.  Spirituality is your own relationship with the bigger whole;  while religion is a particular system of faith and worship.  

Spirituality is personal, something you feel, develop and share with the bigger picture that you believe in.    Everyone has their own spiritual path or journey.  It's not something that can be taught or imposed.  

The bigger picture has a lot of varying names: God, Buddha, Source, Love Energy, Nature, Family/Ancestry, Higher Intelligence, Infinite Spirit, Goddess, Mother Earth, Jesus, Divine Mother or Father, Great Spirit, Universe...and the list goes on.  

It is not about being right or wrong, because you get to believe whatever you choose.  And that can evolve over time or possibly change more suddenly if you've had a significant experience.   

Whatever your beliefs are, they inform the way you live.  So, bringing those beliefs to the surface can bring awareness to your behavior and decisions.  Sometimes we don't even realize what beliefs we are operating from.  Becoming aware can provide an  opportunity to reevaluate those beliefs to make sure they are still current.  It's all part of understanding yourself at a deeper level.

Not everyone wants to incorporate spirituality into their therapy process and that is totally okay.  It's always an option as this is your process.  

Is this something you'd like to explore?  Give me a ring!

Mediumship

Opening to What is Available

I never used to give much thought to this ability.  I categorized it with Psychic Readers who were hit or miss, although intriguing.  Later, I got sucked into the show Long Island Medium.  Recently, I found Life After Death with Tyler Henry on Netflix.  And I found myself once again crying along and craving more.  

Many years ago, I was at a book club meeting and the topic of mediumship came up.  Someone mentioned the name of a somewhat local medium who was the real deal.  (Thanks Nina!)  

Meanwhile, a different friend lost her mom to MS.  We would walk and talk together and wonder about signs from the Spirit world.  She told me that her kids missed their grandma and would play a certain song on the piano that reminded them of her.  

I got the bright idea to take this friend to see the medium together.  It was an event where the medium would read about 10/100 people in attendance.   But we all could benefit by listening.  Why not?!  I started to feel really determined.  I bought tickets and we went.

What I witnessed literally changed something in me.  I was on a spiritual high for weeks.  Was the impossible well... possible?   All the maybes and hopes for life after death suddenly were rock-solid real for me!  

Mollie Morningstar describes the next soul who is coming into her awareness and it was undeniably my friend's mom.  I don't want to share the details as it's personal and sacred, but there were too many points that lined up just right.  Most importantly, the message was that she was okay, feeling great and could dance again.  She even mentioned the name of the song that her grandchildren play for her and said it brings her right there.  Like a ringtone.  

Over the years, I've gifted my mom and my significant other a private reading which did not disappoint.  So much comfort and peace result, which is all we need sometimes!

I've also read a lot of George Anderson books.  It's amazing what happens if you shed the doubt and judgment and entertain the possibility that this is real.  At our very purest form, we are energy which never ceases to exist.  Your departed ones are still here just in a different form.  And they want you to know they are okay and that they love you.  Simple as that!

Mollie Morningstar often explains how she gets information through mental telepathy.  She breaks it down so it doesn't seem like creepy magic.  She says that if you are ever suddenly flooded with thoughts of your departed loved one, that you are receiving a message or a simple hello.  She is more practiced with these observations, but she teaches us that we all are capable.  

I've heard some people express that they don't think it's right to play with this ability.  Like we are not supposed to know certain things.  Why do we insist on limitation ane misery?    I would like to reframe that concern.  1.  It's natural to be afraid of the unknown.  And this is your fear talking.  2.  There is nothing but love on the other side!  No punishment, no evil, only love.  3.  If it is possible, then it is meant to share.  We are here to learn from each other.

The experience and concept of mediumship can be very helpful during the time of grief/bereavement.  Not everyone is comfortable discussing thoughts about departed loved ones or possible telepathic moments.  However, I'm very comfortable discussing and supporting you with any of this.  If you would like to process these topics with me, just give me a ring!

Financial Abuse 

We think something has to be obvious before we can feel justified in making a serious complaint.  Sometimes the lines get fuzzy.  Relationships can slip into abusive patterns, and it's important to wake up to what's happening.  

Let's break it down.  Does your partner have more power or control in the relationship because he/she makes more money?  Does your partner "take care of" all financial matters in your relationship?  Are you criticized for the way you spend money?  Is every purchase questioned?  Are all bank accounts transparent or shared with you?  Do you have access to them?  Are you given an allowance?  Do you have equal spending rights?  Are you made to feel guilty for needing money?  Are you expected to be extremely frugal when you don't know for sure that you need to be?  Are you treated less than because you don't earn as much or stay home with the children?  Has your partner or anyone else accused you of making poor life choices because your career field pays less?  Or because you chose to stay home with the kids?  Or because you are out of work?  

According to Anderson and Boback Family Law in Chicago, "Some people do not realize that they are victims because they have always let their spouses handle the money.  Your spouse controls everything, from how much you are allowed to spend on groceries, to how much money is spent on the house.  Your spouse convinces you that 'he is only trying to help,” or “she was saving for our future.'  A financially abusive spouse is one that controls you with your money.  It is a person who hides assets or financial accounts, all with the primary goal of keeping what rightfully belongs to you." https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/divorcing-a-financially-abusive-spouse-in-illinois/#gref.

Financial abuse can range from intense to subtle.  Things don't have to be obvious in order to qualify as abuse.  

It can be easy to fall into certain roles when you are in a relationship, marriage or not.   For some, it can be a relief to not have to deal with the finances.  Sometimes couples divide roles and it works.   Are your rights equal?  Is your access available?   Is your  communication open?

Your worth is not related to how much money you make.  Chances are, you are responsible and making good life decisions that align with your talents and fit with your values.  If you are out of work, it does not mean you are lazy.   You may have lost your job during the pandemic.   You may need help finding a job after a decade of stay at home parenting.  

You may choose to continue running the household despite not getting a salary.  That does't replace your right to financial equality and access.  Perhaps you sacrificed your career so your partner could advance in his/hers.  Perhaps you saved money on childcare by staying home yourself.  

Or maybe you want to work, but your partner doesn't agree/allow you to.  You have certain rights in a marriage.  You have certain rights in any relationship. You have certain rights in a divorce.  Even after divorce, you have certain financial rights.  You don't have to qualify financially for divorce.  Know your rights and options.

Financial abuse is a form of control that affects your ability to use, acquire, or maintain financial resources.  It's a form of abuse that is not talked about, and often unknown to others.  This type of abuse can still lead to extreme suffering and hardship, especially if someone feels trapped in a marriage because they have no money to leave.  It's invisible for the most part, like emotional abuse, and sometimes is combined with emotional abuse.  Over time, victims start to believe they are less worthy and have lower self esteem.  Therefore, the victim has a difficult time coming forward, unsure if they will be believed or supported by others. 

There's a lot more information out there on financial abuse, but I wanted to get your gears turning on this.  It never hurts to reexamine current systems, patterns or feelings.  Maybe your partner doesn't know how you feel, and is happy to share the responsibility and access.  Communication is important, so be sure to check in and get involved.  

However, if you have financial abuse concerns and need support, or are unsure about your relationship and financial rights, give me a ring!

Relationships

Relationships teach us so much about ourselves.  It's important to be surrounded by healthy relationships so you can have optimal support and ease.  So often, I see  and hear about codependency.  People don't realize that their codependent patterns are not healthy.  Of course we want to be considerate of others, but it's not your responsibility to "take care of" other people's feelings.  

Everyone is responsible for their own feelings.  If someone is angry, it doesn't  mean that you did something wrong or that it is your job to fix it.  If you find yourself "rescuing" other people all of the time or anticipating their needs, you can be sure you are exhibiting codependent behavior.  

Being a good friend or partner can certainly involve listening and helping.  However, problem-solving for them is not actually helpful.  You rob them of the opportunity to figure it out for themselves.  You are actually doing them a disservice as you send a subconscious message that they need you and that alone, they are incapable.  They will ask for help if they need it.  You have to trust that they will be okay and have the agency to cope.    Support doesn't mean picking up their problems as if they are your own.  You can be supportive simply by showing up, listening and encouraging them.

The root of codependency often comes from our families of origin.  Sensitive ones are expected to anticipate the needs of others.  Expectations are spoken or unspoken, reinforced through various rewards.  

For example, I shouldn't have to feel helpless so that someone else can feel needed.  The act of being self-sufficient does not mean I don't appreciate or love others in my life.  The need to be needed is one of many dynamics that result in codependency.   Another example is staying in an unhealthy relationship because you feel sorry for your partner.   Pity does not equal love.   

It's not your job to protect or take care of people's feelings.  Along my personal journey, the phrase, "it's not my job..."  became powerful for my growth.   It also helped me advocate for my children as I saw some expectations being placed on them.  It's not a child's job to make their parent feel good.  That's totally unfair to expect.  A child should not have to prove that they like their parents.  Yes, parents have a job to teach children to be kind and respectful.  But, be careful what you are teaching them.  Will they grow up to sacrifice their own goals or happiness in an effort to please their future partner?

Sometimes relationships can become enmeshed, in which your identity is difficult to separate from someone else's identity.  If you can't define yourself outside of your relationship, then you've lost your individuality and personal identity.   As an identical twin, I was often confused with my sister and lumped together in a way that people assumed we were the same in our personality, goals, and interests.  I even used to have a habit of saying "we" when she wasn't around, because we used to do everything together.  I realized I had a difficult time even starting a sentence with "I".   At the grocery store, I still occasionally have an impulse to get two of everything!  

I give personal examples because that's how I've learned.   The contrast of realizing what we don't want allows us to learn what we do want and need.   I also want to normalize how these patterns happen in relationships.   Patterns are learned which means they can be un-learned.

Also, your self esteem should not rely on your partner's mood.   Having an external locus of control is when you are motivated by external events or people.    It's healthier to have an internal locus of control, knowing who you are and making your own choices despite what other's think or expect.

Have you heard about the codependency triangle?  The three roles often taken are the perpetrator, the victim and the rescuer.  Family members can rotate which one of these roles they play at any given time.  However, we tend to have "favorites".   The perpetrator acts, the victim responds, and the rescuer swoops in after it all. Which role do you tend to play out?   Do you ever feel you are walking on eggshells around a moody or explosive personality?  This could be a red flag. 

I am all about boundaries.  This has totally saved me in terms of knowing my rights and what I deserve.  I had to tell myself that God loves me too, damn it!   (lol)  In other words, your needs matter.  Your happiness matters.  You don't need to be on the back burner all the time.  Don't wait to be rescued.  Rescue yourself!  

It's good to identify what works for you and what doesn't in a relationship.  Some things can be negotiable.   Sometimes, you can find a compromise.  However, other things might be deal-breakers.  What are your deal-breakers?  We can explore your personal boundaries in the therapy process.

For some, it may feel rude to say no.  Women, especially, have been socialized to be agreeable.  I've even been written up for poor communication for simply disagreeing and communicating my disagreement.  Standing by your boundaries can be difficult.  Not everyone will support you, but that's okay.  It's more important to be assertive and advocate for your needs.  I can work with you to find ways to communicate your boundaries in a kind yet firm way.  And if others get upset or angry about your boundaries, it is okay .   I promise you--you both will be better off as a result.   You have to teach people how to treat you.  I recommend Terri Cole's website and book: terricole.com/Boundary Boss.  

Relationships are supposed to support you.  They are the place where we practice and learn lessons of love.  We learn how to forgive, how to ask for help, how to set boundaries, how to love yourself and others, how to be loved unconditionally,  how to be accountable and take responsibility, and how to communicate assertively and effectively.  The most important relationship you can create and maintain is the one with yourself.  From there, all other relationships will improve.

Need help with your relationships?  Give me a ring!

The Law of Attraction

You are perfect, whole, and complete in this moment.  You are whole and you are healing. You are rooted in the meadow of confidence and belief.  You are digging up your power as you read this.  You are an instrument of love, radiating from the inside out.  You attract healthy relationships into your life.  You belong because you exist.  You can make a mistake and still be okay.  You can never be harmed at the soul level.  You are worthy, loved and protected.  You are uniquely beautiful, talented and wise.  You are connected to your intuition, creativity and strength.  You are courageous and powerful beyond measure.  You are loving life and life loves you.  The Universe works with you, for you, and through you.  Everything is unfolding according to the bigger plan.  You are exactly where you need to be.  You are finding your directional posts and are guided every step of the way.  You are open and clear, ready and willing!  You are here and here you are!  

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Your words have power.  Your thoughts have power.  Your beliefs have power.  Energy is real, and what you put out will come back to you.  The Universe agrees with you, no matter what you choose to believe and say.  So, mindfully, choose each thought, word and belief.  And watch the manifestation unfold!

If you would like to manifest great things into your life, give me a ring!

Inspiration Station:

Resources and Such

Meditation 

•  Tarabrach.com/meditations

• Brian Weiss-A Meditation to Inner Peace, Love and Joy Hay House

• Calm App, 

• Insight Timer App, 

• Headspace App

Music

• David Wilcox-Show the Way

• David Wilcox-Hold it Up to The Light

• David Wilcox-Hard Part

• David Wilcox-That's What the Lonely is For

• David Wilcox-By Your Words Alone

Past-Life Regression Therapy

• Brian Weiss Books/website

• Susan Wisehart (local) books/website

• Carol Bowman-Children's Past Lives book

• Michael Newton books/Journey of Souls

Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy

• The Wellness Institute

Mediumship

• Mollie Morningstar Molliemorningstar.com

• George Anderson books

Akashic Records

• ARCI Akashic Record Consultants International-directory/information

Law of Attraction

• Mike Dooley tut.com and sign up for his free Notes from the Universe

• Louise Hay

• Brendan Bouchard

Relationships

• Boundary Boss by Terri Cole

• Loving Bravely by Alexandra Solomon

• This is How Your Marriage Ends by Matthew Fray

Spiritual Growth 

• Hay House website

• Wayne Dyer books

• Louise Hay books

• 
  

• Infinity Foundation 

• Soderworld Academy and Spa 

• Omega Institute (NY)

• Sounds True (podcasts)

Mind-body Connection

• All is Well by Louise Hay and Mona Lisa Schulz

Pass It On

When I read a good book, I tend to really get into it.  I take notes, underline, and star the parts that wow me.  By the end, I feel like the author is my best friend and we’ve just had a great conversation.  It’s the same way when I hear a good story or podcast.  It’s like something gets ignited in me, and I want to share! 

Like the game of telephone, there are so many ways to deliver or process the information received.  One might tell more people, while another might digest it through art, journaling or making personal changes in their behavior.  There are so many possibilities! 

That’s how we stay connected.  By passing on ideas, notes, thoughts.  We learn from and  inspire others.  It doesn’t have to be your own original idea, uniquely born out of your consciousness.  It will be unique by the very way you deliver the message.   Bridging your interpretation to someone who might benefit.

What things do you decide to pass on?  Recipes?  Family traditions?  Spiritual experiences?  Gossip?  Your thoughts or feelings?  When I reflect on this, I am reminded that we have such a powerful gift to spread joy, kindness, information, support or entertainment to others.  

Once you’ve identified the types of things you tend to pass on, I invite you to see how that relates to your identity, values or sense of purpose.  Something to chew on…  The process of passing it on.  The content of what you pass on.  And how it all connects to the bigger picture.  

Thanks for reading, and if you like–feel free to pass it on!

Necessary Mirage

Have you ever had your heart set on something or someone only to find out it wasn’t what you were hoping for?  And you were completely disappointed because you dreamt for so long about this opportunity, person or thing?  And maybe you worked really hard to get it?  You put so much time and energy into something, only to find out that it did not bring you the happiness you hoped for?  

We all have, right?   Like a mirage:  we see it is there until we arrive and it's gone.  A trick of the eye.  A trick of the heart.  Just an illusion.  NOT the oasis you were dreaming about.

How frustrating.  What was the point, you might wonder of all that time and energy spent focused on that one thing?  Some of us can start to lose faith in our intuition or even our spirituality.  Or, we can see this from a higher perspective, as if you are floating above.  From this vantage point, you might better understand that the mirage was necessary, because of how much progress was made.  Look how far you have traveled!  Can you see how much closer you are to your real purpose or goal?  Perhaps you can see how much you have learned by moving towards this mirage.  

When I do this, I also notice that I am still okay, and not damaged but rather resilient and full of strength,  since I made it all the way to here.  And I see now from this point of view--up ahead--some sights that I couldn’t see before.  

Because, actually, if the mirage wasn’t there, attracting me, I might have never moved or tried at all.  So, now I’m realizing that this mirage was actually necessary, like a calling or invitation to move in this direction. This was all part of the grand plan, to pull me along like a beacon showing me the way.  But instead of being the destination, this is a point of reflection.  

And now I know that there might be more mirages along the way, but I don’t have to be frustrated by them.  Or give up.  I can zoom out and say, “Wow, look how far I’ve come!  Thanks for motivating me to do something and go somewhere, because I hate to be stuck.  Thanks for adding tools to my collection of understanding.  I will really be prepared and equipped when I arrive at the true oasis.

Most importantly, that vision or original dream that you had is still there to guide you.  You should have high expectations.  You do deserve to be happy.  And, your vision, dream or whispering messages will help you find and create what you are looking for.  Especially if you can reflect on all of the necessary mirages that have gotten you this far.

Need help reframing the mirages in your life?  Give me a ring!

Carrying, Holding

To carry and hold another life for nearly a year can lead to powerful feelings, difficult choices, and great change.  What else are we carrying as pregnant women, and what do we hold on to?  For some, pregnancy feels like life is on hold.  For others, it's an exciting time.  And still others, can feel depressed, limited, sick or just plain unlike themselves.  

In any case, being pregnant naturally draws a woman’s focus inward, to her body, and often leads her psychologically to unexplored territories.  Universally, it is a state of being that marks a major transition in her life…an experience that connects her to womanhood.  

Usually, there is a realistic entanglement of mixed emotions.   The identity of motherhood and the meanings we each attach can be confusing and overwhelming.   It's important to bring this into awareness as a way to support one's adjustment.  Also, processing our beliefs and feelings can help us adjust and edit our thoughts to be healthier and more supportive.

Instead of feeling alone, pregnancy can be an important time to connect to yourself, your experience and all that you are carrying/holding.   What do you notice about your changing self?  If you are wanting to process any thoughts or feelings privately, therapy is a safe place to do so.  Would you like more support during this transformational time?  Give me a ring!

Compassion Work-Out

Fitness doesn't only apply to our physical health.  What does it mean to be emotionally fit?  Spiritually fit?  Holistically fit?  Fitness involves stretching, developing muscles, and repeating exercises to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  

We can also stretch ourselves to think differently, and to be more kind.   Stretching ourselves or expanding ourselves in any realm is rewarding.  

 Have you flexed your forgiveness muscle lately?  Or your self-care muscle?  Practicing or repeating any exercise, helps it to become stronger.  What is strength?  A competitive attitude or calm, quiet, balance?  Redefining concepts decreases the pressure you put on yourself,  and instead, tunes into what is more accurate to you.   

Have you done your assertiveness work-out lately?  What does your self-awareness routine entail? Self-love can also be flexed through bodywork.  Learning to connect with your body and feel the flow of life, creativity, Spirit, or simply the warmth of bloodflow can have endless benefits.   

Whatever muscle you’d like to strengthen, whether that’s trust, intuition, spiritual connection, or positive thinking, self-compassion is at the root of it all and will aid the process.  Allowing for patience, mistakes, time, and understanding when the process is difficult is one of the most supportive muscles to develop.  If you’re ready for a new kind of work-out, give me a ring!